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Using Your Love Languages to Practice Self-Love

Self-Care and Self-Love: Using Your 5 Love Languages to Show Yourself Love


September. Los Angeles.


What are the 5 love languages?

  1. Words of Affirmation

  2. Acts of Service

  3. Receiving Gifts

  4. Quality Time

  5. Physical Touch

The 5 love languages were coined by marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman, and they aim to reveal how an individual best shows and receives love. There are a ton of websites that facilitate this test, and they were created with the intentions of revealing how someone receives and communicates their love. The series of questions aim to score each of the love languages based on how you answer them.

The order of your 5 love languages can also change, so it’s important to note changes:

2018 2021

  1. Physical Touch 1. Words of Affirmation

  2. Quality Time 2. Quality Time

  3. Words of Affirmation 3. Physical Touch

  4. Acts of Service 4. Receiving Gifts

  5. Receiving Gifts 5. Acts of Service

Now, it’s the start of 2021 and life has given me an entirely new lens. We are constantly growing and evolving, so we need to cater to our new selves and give unprecedented love regardless of if there is someone providing that love or not. Many people view the love language test solely externally regarding their romantic relationships, but I was interested in finding out ways to express my love languages to myself to perform the most beneficial acts of self-love.

Through a few Google searches and Instagram photos, I’ve compiled a list that highlights a couple love on yourself based on your love languages. As the great, Lauryn Hill, once said, “How you gon’ win if you ain’t right within?” Your energy and power starts within you, and nurturing that root by loving on yourself will allow you to well prepare to be able to accept love externally.


Acts of Love You Can Perform For Yourself!

1. Words of Affirmation: Mind over matter!

  • Daily affirmations that remind you of your power. Manifest your goals through speaking them out loud, create a vision board, or simply write down something you are working towards and put it in a place where you constantly see it.

    • Journal your best moments of the day, and be sure to include things/people that you are grateful for!

    • Self-deprecation...I don’t know her → try to limit the negative thoughts. If there is an activity or person that tends to make you feel negative energy, separate yourself from them and observe the differences in your thoughts and emotions.

2. Quality Time: Turn that phone off, and lock in!


    • Sleep

    • Exercise

    • Find an activity that you find joy in doing, even if it is something as little as singing in the shower...girl you better BLOW!

    • You don’t live for anyone but yourself, cancel that meeting, watch the recorded lecture and sleep, draw sharpie on your arm like we’re in middle school--just do it!

3. Physical Touch: Your body is your temple!

(Try to do these activities and appreciate each area of your body you come in contact with--no negativity, just love!)

  • Change your hairstyle/take care of your hair: even if you aren’t super skilled in doing your hair, ensuring that your hair is nice and clean, waves brushed, curls moisturized, blow-out voluminous--is a celebration of your crown. Try to appreciate your texture, your hair color, even those split ends! YOU deserve it.

    • Skin care routine: steam away those toxins, try a DIY face mask, exfoliate and moisturize. Get your glow back!

    • STRETCH! We hold tension naturally in areas like our hips and shoulders, so take this time to try to stretch and rub out that stress.

4. Receiving Gifts: Have fun and spoil yourself!

  • Been dreaming of a trip? Plan it. Even if you don’t have the money at this particular time, look at flights, sites to visit, food to try, etc. Make your goals more proximate, even if you don’t know how to make it happen--YET. (suggestion: do it with your friends, but ONLY if they are going to benefit to your excitement and not remind you of “reality”.)

    • Invest in your self improvement! Start a gym membership, buy a book that addresses an issue that you’re facing currently in your life, sign up for a MasterClass membership to acquire a new skill.

    • Buy something that you love and know will continue to be useful in your life.

5. Acts of Service: “If it’s lovin that you want” it!

  • Get dressed up for yourself! Wear something that you feel great in and take pictures of yourself in that moment. This will be amazing to look back at when you’re having a tough day. (Your future self will thank you!)

  • Home improvement: rearrange your space to reflect what you want it to look like in that moment. Try a DIY project to spice things up!

  • Cook a healthy meal, maybe even trying a new recipe. Experiment with ways to nurture yourself--you just might find something that you love.


Learning how to perform more acts of self-love can lead to improving how you communicate expectations and ensure that you are maintaining a positive and loving relationship with yourself, even with pursuing love in romantic and Platonic relationships. Take a day to try some of these out, enjoy your self-love!

As always, please leave your comments and questions!



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